The curse of vegetarianism

By Arty Spoon

When ‘ordinary’ people find out I’m a raw vegan they generally cannot wait to pick massive great holes in my reasoning for following this edible path. First off, they assume that all I eat is fruit salad and sushi. Despite more than 50% of the phrase ‘raw vegan’ consisting of the word ‘vegan’.

These normal folk think I am some kind of freak of nature because I eat natural uncooked foods that have been processed as little as possible. They sit, often smugly behind their overcooked burger made from cow’s eyeballs, eyelids, bumhole and genitals, and their sesame seed bun made from white flour and a disturbing cocktail of sinister chemicals and sugar, and they stab holes in my argument with invisible sanctimonious pencils.

Some people wave meat beneath my nose, like I might suddenly be overcome with murderous tendencies and wrestle them to the ground to devour the contents of their fist, and, what the hell, the fist itself, like the carnivores they think us humans naturally are.

They are like addicts who become disgruntled when a fellow smoker, drinker, drug user or gamer quits and gets clean. They’re dying to drag you back in, back into the clammy clutches of shared addiction, so that they don’t have to feel bad about what they are doing. Because ‘then we’re all doing it’, right?

Reasons humans aren't designed to eat meat. Our teeth make terrible meat slicers and our stomachs don't digest meat well at all.

I can come up with a hundred reasons why I don’t think humans are biologically predisposed to eat meat, and if you hunt around on the internet, you can find another hundred reasons countering my arguments. I don’t personally believe that human beings are supposed to eat meat, certainly not in the quantities and formations that it is consumed as part of the standard American diet.

Now despite being a raw vegan, sometimes I will do something really heinous, like eat something that isn’t raw, such as a biscuit or a potato chip, and I often hear an incredulous: ‘Are you allowed to eat that?!’ ‘That’s not raw!’

Well really, if I sit and eat a piece of cake that gives my ass the appearance of a chesterfield sofa, or a bag of potato chips that contribute to cancer, that’s entirely up to me. It is my health I’m risking. So, I generally reply that I’m allowed to eat anything I want. If a smoker refuses a cigarette, people don’t suddenly exclaim ‘But I thought you smoked!?’

I once met a vegan yoga teacher, who was the healthiest looking individual I’ve ever met. He drank green vegetable juices for breakfast every day and practised yoga for a couple of hours each morning. He meditated, drank adequate water, got enough sunshine… did everything right. Then one day I ran into him on a beach and he was drinking a can of coke and smoking a Marlborough Red. ‘Sometimes, I just feel like a can of coke and a cigarette’, he said. I loved that attitude.

Vegans are almost regarded in the same way as lepers in some quarters.

It seems that being a vegetarian or even worse, not to mention heaven forbid, a vegan, you may as well have a large scabby ‘L for leper’ gauged upon your forehead. I used to get the same reaction to people when I was an advocator of women’s rights. ‘Urrrgh! You’re not one of those feminists are you?’ No way. The last thing I’d ever want is equal rights for myself. You wouldn’t say ‘you’re not antiracist are you?!’ to a black guy, like it’s a totally absurd notion.

Many people almost seem to take offense that you might want to conduct a life that avoids animals suffering. As if by doing so, you think you are somehow better than them, or might suddenly describe what goes on in the average slaughterhouse in minute detail, thereby ‘putting them off their dinner’.

Admittedly, I used to be quite an aggressive animal rights warrior, I was incensed and upset by their treatment and people’s wilful ignorance of the conditions they exist in, but now I realise that many people are just misinformed, confused, or happily ignorant. Not many people really want to think that the splash of milk in their coffee is a bi-product of rape and torture.

There’s so much misinformation on the interweb that it’s easy to become pixilated by the whole affair.  No one seems to be able to agree on whether we should eat meat or not. My money is on ‘not’, and that’s one of the reasons why I don’t. The other reason is that I really don’t want to be responsible for the needless torture of my fellow earthlings. I don’t want to be one of these people that say they love animals whilst tucking into a plate of dead lamb. I guess what they really mean is that they like puppies and pictures of kittens playing with balls of wool.

If only this were true for every cow alive.

Don’t let your fear of other people’s glory in your ‘downfall’ put you off the occasional deviation, if that’s what it takes. Being vegetarian 95% of the time is better than not being vegetarian. Having a Bailey’s at Christmas does not make you an alcoholic.

Forget labels and focus on trying to live as compassionately as possible. Even if it’s just for one day a week to start with. Or switch to organic milk. It’s a start. If you do want to continue eating meat, you can help change the way the animals are treated each time you buy organic.

I don’t miss eating meat but I do miss being ignorant. I wish I still thought that cows lived in fields and not sheds. I wish I went to bed at night knowing that chickens saw daylight. I wish human beings occasionally remembered that they share this planet with many other species. They don’t own it.

Get a debate going by leaving a comment with your thoughts on veganism. Do you agree with points made here or do you feel we need to eat meat?

Read about the s510 bill restricting organic choices; Milk and its myths; Raw Veganism aiding weight loss and the impact of GM crops on organic farming.

images: metro.co.uk; healthyspotonline.com; futurity.org; bighugelabs.com